“Satan is simply the warden of a very large prison. Quiet man actually, thoughtful and he’s well read. And I happen to know the idea of sacrificing children in his honour annoys him greatly.”
Film Rating: 
Meltdown Rating: 
Patrick Lussier limps, tumbles and crashes (hard) in this supernatural tale of vengeance that pits Nicolas Cage against the forces of hell (yet again) – the only redeeming feature is that every beginning has to have an end, and thank god for that.
John Milton (Mr Cage) is a fugitive determined to find his grand daughter who has been kidnapped by Jonah King (Billy Burke), the leader of a sect. During his angry road trip, John meets the improbably redneck Piper (Amber Heard) and the two of them join forces. Meanwhile, a strange man in black, known as the Accountant (William Fichtner), is looking for John.
Drive Angry is a godawful piece of work. It is a film that wants to stimulate the baser, most primitive parts of the brain and even here it misses the target. It tries to be over the top but it ends up being plain dumb. Personified, Mr Lussier’s film would be a belligerent Neanderthal atop a three-legged mammoth. Except for Mr Fichtner’s turn as the Accountant (read Angel of Death), there is nothing whatsoever to recommend. If only, true to his character, he threw this poor excuse of a film down the remotest pit in hell. It is sloppy beyond belief. The script is amateurish at best, cosying up to a narrative that is as easy to foretell as snow at the North Pole. The acting is atrocious, ranging from bad to bad, and Mr Cage, who knows how to be camp when the need arises, seems lost. Usually I’m rather forgiving: if a film entertains me from beginning to end, even if mediocre, I tend to focus on the light at the end of the tunnel. In this case, the tunnel is either very long or the bulb is bust.
No. Just no.
Related:
- Vampire’s Kiss (1988)
- The Wicker Man (2006)
- Ghost Rider (2007)
- Knowing (2009)
- Season of the Witch (2011)
- Ghost Rider: Spirit of Vengeance (2011)
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